look out world!

So I’ve realized that over the past 4 years of being in school, I’ve lost sight of any hobbies I once had. I thought I would start a blog to give in to the insatiable desire for our society to be connected…and to give me something to do. And here I am!

I just finished Donald Miller’s newest book, “A Million Miles in a Thousand Years”. I am always blown away by how much I resonate with what he says in his books. I’d like to think he’s talking to me personally…like we’re sitting in a bar in Portland, OR drinking a blue moon (he would have something much more manly though, like a guinness) and he’s telling me his life story. But, alas, I am merely one of the millions sitting in their houses reading his book. One of my friends worked in Seattle this past summer and had a chance to meet one of his friends. We both hoped that meant one day we’d get to meet Don too; however, it has yet to come true. Sadly.

I don’t ever think my life is interesting enough to write about, and, honestly, I’ve always felt conceited keeping journals (virtual or not). I really want to go out and do things. I’d like to go to the West coast and jump in the Pacific Ocean. I really want to go on a road trip. But I don’t have the gumption or the know-how to get there. I’m also a big scaredy cat. Between you and me, sometimes I’m still afraid of the dark…why on earth would I think I can conquer the entire vastness of the United States during a road trip. Ugh.

In reading Don, Donald, Mr. Miller’s (I don’t know what to call him because after reading 4 of his books, I feel we’re old friends) new book, I’ve realized that I try too hard to understand God. That is an indefatigable feat that can never be accomplished. The way my brain works is to comprehend and figure out “things” on my own. I’ve never read the directions to a game or assembly directions to some complicated toy, I just dig right in and hope for the best. I think I do the same thing with God. I just jump in and tackle God and pray that I can understand what it is exactly that I’m doing here on this planet Earth. I’m never going to understand…so why can I not accept that? It is so incredibly frustrating. There must be some reason God made me this way…so do I stay the same, constantly letting myself down at my inability to comprehend The Incomprehensible; or do I fight with myself, with the way I’ve always been, to change to accept my lack of understanding? These are the questions that I wish God, in God’s booming-voiced glory, would yell out to me. But for now, I guess I’ll continue to wonder, and listen to the best of my ability.