Christmas...already?

I cannot believe that it's Christmas. I don't know why, but it really snuck up on me this year. Maybe I just haven't been in the holiday spirit. It may also have something to do with the fact that this past semester was so stressful that now that I can finally sit and relax and meditate on the season, I lack the ability to do so. I wish that I could...I want to be able to fully enjoy the holidays.

In the time I have had to "get in the spirit", I have been reminded how much I love Christmas music that juxtaposes Christ the Child and Christ the Savior. This is especially popular in choir anthems that I have sung. One of my favorites is John Rutter's "Candlelight Carol":

How do you capture the wind on the water? How do you count all the stars in the sky?

How can you measure the love of a mother, or how can you write down a baby's first cry?

Shepherds and wisemen will kneel and adore him, Seraphim round him their vigil will keep;

Nations proclaim him their Lord and their Savior, but Mary will hold him and sing him to sleep.

Find him at Bethlehem laid in a manger: Christ our Redeemer asleep in the hay.

Godhead incarnate and hope of salvation: A child with his mother that first Christmas Day.

There is just something about the comparison of an innocent baby to the One who will save all of humanity that gives me chills...and hope. "Nations proclaim him their Lord and their Savior, but Mary will hold him and sing him to sleep." Mary knew of this extraordinary child to whom she had just given birth, but her first obligation was to love him as a mother...a plain, simple mother.

I wish I had the love of a mother for Jesus. It is more than just an obligatory love, it is a love conceived out of the inability to do anything else. I would like to love God out of the inability to do anything else, but I overanalyze it. It is more obligatory, at this point in my life. I love God because God is part of my life, but not because God IS my life. I have heard it said that the love a mother has for her child is a different kind of love than any other she has ever experienced...which is how Mary felt, she loved Jesus not because he was the "Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace", but because he was her baby.

I hope that I can find that kind of love for God. I am too much of an analytical being. I need proof before I buy into something. I am not one to take risks. In order to have the love for God that Mary had, though, I suppose I need to adopt her way of life: "Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word." No questions, just commitment. I guess it also helps when you have a beaming angel standing in front of you saying, "Here's what's up...". That's the proof I need. But, until then...