The message of this post has been a long time coming. The message of this post will be difficult pill to swallow. The message of this post breaks my heart on a daily basis. But I feel the need to talk about it and to publicize it because maybe I'm not the only one.
I have been actively involved in the church my entire life. I have participated in children's choir, Girls in Action, Acteens, handbells - everything. I grew up going to "big church" following sunday school. In college, I worked in the church. I taught children's choir and adult handbells. I was an intern with my youth ministry at home. I thought I knew everything there was to know about church. And then, I came to seminary...
When you start seminary, you are excited and scared at the same time. You are anxious and happy. You meet people and you bear your soul within the first few weeks of school by writing a spiritual autobiography where you outline and demonstrate your knowledge for all things church-related. In college, I studied music - I went to class and learned how to analyze musical phrases and I learned how to best educate children. I found refuge on Sunday mornings. Sundays were refreshing because I did not have to think about school, or music theory, or pedagogical techniques. But when you are in seminary, everything in your life becomes church. You go to class and you analyze biblical passages and you translate Hebrew and Greek and discover how ill-informed some translations of scripture are. Just three years ago, I found refuge in Sunday mornings at church because it was an escape from school and now I avoid Sundays at church because it gives me a break.
Being in seminary, I have realized how bad things are in the Church. I am around ministers on a day-to-day basis and hear them tell stories of frustration and anger. My heart has hardened and I have become a cynic toward the idea of Church as it stands today. I am tired of old, white men being leaders in the church and squelching the hopes of a younger generation because we do not have the finances to buy a voice loud enough to be heard - when the message of Jesus spoke directly to the least of these. I am tired of hearing why some people, created in God's image, are not welcome in church because they are "sinners" - when the message of Jesus spoke directly to loving our neighbor as we love ourselves. I am tired of politics finding their way into church, and Church finding its way into politics - when Jesus said render unto Caesar's what is Caesar's. I have taken my anger out on God and I have neglected our relationship because I felt like it was all God's fault.
I was sorely mistaken. God is not the one who is flawed - it is humanity. So, yes. It is increasingly difficult to find my refuge in church on Sunday mornings, but I still find refuge in God. Not everything about my seminary experience has hardened me. I have made wonderful friends, I have met my future husband, and I have discovered how important it is to maintain a relationship with God - because when your focus is on God, you don't seem to care as much about the problems of the world. This is a truth I'm working on accepting daily. I thank God for redemption through God's son. I thank God for the message of love and unconditional acceptance Jesus preached every day. But I pray, with as much sincerity as I can, that someday the church will begin replicating that love and unconditional acceptance. That is when I will find refuge in the church once again. I pray that day comes soon.
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Monday, July 30, 2012
yet another blog about Chick-Fil-A...
Okay, so here's the thing. I really didn't want to do this. I'm really tired of seeing posts from both the supporters and dissenters of Dan Cathy and his deliciously beloved Chick-Fil-A. But, I wanted to provide an even-keeled statement about my feelings toward the topic.
First thing's first - I LOVE CHICK-FIL-A! I have never eaten anything in their restaurant that didn't leave me immediately wanting more, but I much prefer a number 5 8-count with lemonade. Did you know that you can even get a grilled cheese sandwich there? And I love trading in my toy from the kids' meal for an IceDream. Admittedly, as a cynic, sometimes it drives me crazy when they say "my pleasure" but I let that slide because most of the time I can tell that it really is their pleasure. Chick-Fil-A has employed many of my friends and every one of them genuinely loved their job which is more than a lot of us can say. So, while I don't necessarily agree with the opinion expressed by their C.O.O., I will respect the fact that he has a right to that opinion and I pray that others will recognize this right regardless of their opinion.
But here's the main point of my blog - I love Jesus more. I believe that Jesus' words define my life, and while Jesus frequently opposed those in power who abused that aspect of their lives, he himself said that loving your neighbor as you love yourself bears as much weight as the greatest commandment to love God. I have many gay friends. Two of them I consider my best friends and both of them are in loving, committed, monogamous relationships. One of them will stand beside me as a bridesmaid in my wedding in April. I can proudly say that I love them. I love them not only because they are my "neighbor" as defined by Jesus - I love them because they make me smile, they have wonderful senses of humor. I love them because they provide shoulders to cry on when life gets me down. I love them because they come to me when they need a shoulder to cry on. I do not condemn them, partly because I see nothing for them to be condemned for, but mainly because Jesus didn't condemn either (John 3:17).
So while I won't be joining any boycotts of Chick-Fil-A (I had lunch there today), I also won't apologize for my love and support for gay and lesbian people. If you feel that I need to apologize for that, then perhaps it is time for all of us to pay attention to the second half of the greatest commandment - loving ourselves requires us to love all people and, like Jesus, we should do this without condemnation. So, until further notice, I'm leaving the judgement up to God and following Jesus by standing up for what I believe to be right. And if someday I find out I'm wrong, then God can judge me too.
First thing's first - I LOVE CHICK-FIL-A! I have never eaten anything in their restaurant that didn't leave me immediately wanting more, but I much prefer a number 5 8-count with lemonade. Did you know that you can even get a grilled cheese sandwich there? And I love trading in my toy from the kids' meal for an IceDream. Admittedly, as a cynic, sometimes it drives me crazy when they say "my pleasure" but I let that slide because most of the time I can tell that it really is their pleasure. Chick-Fil-A has employed many of my friends and every one of them genuinely loved their job which is more than a lot of us can say. So, while I don't necessarily agree with the opinion expressed by their C.O.O., I will respect the fact that he has a right to that opinion and I pray that others will recognize this right regardless of their opinion.
But here's the main point of my blog - I love Jesus more. I believe that Jesus' words define my life, and while Jesus frequently opposed those in power who abused that aspect of their lives, he himself said that loving your neighbor as you love yourself bears as much weight as the greatest commandment to love God. I have many gay friends. Two of them I consider my best friends and both of them are in loving, committed, monogamous relationships. One of them will stand beside me as a bridesmaid in my wedding in April. I can proudly say that I love them. I love them not only because they are my "neighbor" as defined by Jesus - I love them because they make me smile, they have wonderful senses of humor. I love them because they provide shoulders to cry on when life gets me down. I love them because they come to me when they need a shoulder to cry on. I do not condemn them, partly because I see nothing for them to be condemned for, but mainly because Jesus didn't condemn either (John 3:17).
So while I won't be joining any boycotts of Chick-Fil-A (I had lunch there today), I also won't apologize for my love and support for gay and lesbian people. If you feel that I need to apologize for that, then perhaps it is time for all of us to pay attention to the second half of the greatest commandment - loving ourselves requires us to love all people and, like Jesus, we should do this without condemnation. So, until further notice, I'm leaving the judgement up to God and following Jesus by standing up for what I believe to be right. And if someday I find out I'm wrong, then God can judge me too.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
A Prayer
Great God,
In the midst of all this incessant talking and arguing and finger pointing and word throwing, it's easy to forget to talk to you...and I have done just that. Please, forgive me. God, I pray for myself. I pray that you will be a constant encourager in my life of being slow to anger, slow to speak, and quick to listen. God, please be with those people who have felt stung or rejected by political banter. Encourage them as well. Give them hope and excitement for a future of love and acceptance. God, be with those who have administered the sting and rejection through their words of reprimand. Open their hearts to see that those whom they recognize as a sinner is no different than them, and may not be a sinner in the way they believe.
God, help us all. Help us all to model Christ. Help us open our arms to those rejected in our society - whatever our society is. Some may need to open their arms to embracing and loving homosexuality as not a sin, but as just another way of expressing love. Some, like me, may need to open their arms to embracing those with differing opinions not as ignorant or closed-minded, but as another one of your creations to be loved and respected. I ask, God I beg, that we all find the ability to communicate rationally without plan or agenda to change each others mind. Help us all be open to hearing from "the other side" without putting up walls of defense around our own beliefs, so that through these conversations, we will be able to hear the truth spoken through You.
I believe you are a God of love and are truly capable of doing miraculous things, but we must be open and receptive to those miracles to see them. Help us all be constantly anticipating hearing from you to speak love and justice in the ways that you believe are what we need. Thank you God for the ability to speak freely about you and about our opinions without risk of punishment or death. Help us not take that lightly or for granted.
I love you God and am grateful for your presence in my life. Help me be that presence to others in all that I say and do.
Amen.
In the midst of all this incessant talking and arguing and finger pointing and word throwing, it's easy to forget to talk to you...and I have done just that. Please, forgive me. God, I pray for myself. I pray that you will be a constant encourager in my life of being slow to anger, slow to speak, and quick to listen. God, please be with those people who have felt stung or rejected by political banter. Encourage them as well. Give them hope and excitement for a future of love and acceptance. God, be with those who have administered the sting and rejection through their words of reprimand. Open their hearts to see that those whom they recognize as a sinner is no different than them, and may not be a sinner in the way they believe.
God, help us all. Help us all to model Christ. Help us open our arms to those rejected in our society - whatever our society is. Some may need to open their arms to embracing and loving homosexuality as not a sin, but as just another way of expressing love. Some, like me, may need to open their arms to embracing those with differing opinions not as ignorant or closed-minded, but as another one of your creations to be loved and respected. I ask, God I beg, that we all find the ability to communicate rationally without plan or agenda to change each others mind. Help us all be open to hearing from "the other side" without putting up walls of defense around our own beliefs, so that through these conversations, we will be able to hear the truth spoken through You.
I believe you are a God of love and are truly capable of doing miraculous things, but we must be open and receptive to those miracles to see them. Help us all be constantly anticipating hearing from you to speak love and justice in the ways that you believe are what we need. Thank you God for the ability to speak freely about you and about our opinions without risk of punishment or death. Help us not take that lightly or for granted.
I love you God and am grateful for your presence in my life. Help me be that presence to others in all that I say and do.
Amen.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
why I no longer hate surprises....
For all my life, I have HATED surprises. I'm not quite sure you understand how much I'm emphasizing hate. Here's an example: when I was little, my parents surprised me and my sister with a trip to DisneyWorld....THE MOST WONDERFUL PLACE ON EARTH!! And I was enraged. How did they expect me just to drop all of my 12-year-old, adolescent world plans and leave for DisneyWorld in 3 days? I got over it, but I think I still kinda hold a grudge. Anyway, this is the story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down...(you see what I did there?)
well guess what! I'm engaged...and it was a TOTAL SURPRISE! And apparently it's been almost 3 whole days now and it's still real life so I guess it's really happening. I am still so shocked and ecstatic and amazed and absolutely STOKED (if I use a word like stoked to describe an engagement emotion, does that make me too young to get engaged? hope not!). Anyway, here's how it happened:
William's ordination was on Sunday. I was SO excited to get to spend this day with him and his family in fellowship and celebration of his big day! I hadn't met a majority of his family - cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. They were all there and it was wonderful to meet them. The service was beautiful and meaningful and I'm almost positive the entire state of Georgia came and laid hands on him. After the service, there was a reception, so everyone headed to the fellowship hall. William wanted a whole family photo, so the entire family (including me) gathered on the steps of the sanctuary and we took a picture.
I went with William down to his office to drop some things off then headed to the fellowship hall. Before we got in, William pulled me back and gave me a hug and kissed me and said, "I just wanted to thank you for what you said during the laying on of hands. It means a lot." Well, I always get so frazzled when I lay on hands (mainly because I feel pressure for time constraints and for some reason I get crazy nervous) that I had forgotten what I'd said except something along the lines of, "I can't wait to be able to support each other's ministries for the rest of our lives." Well, we walked into the fellowship hall and people are chattering and enjoying punch and cupcakes and William wants to make an announcement. He loves to socialize and be around and with people, so this was no surprise to me. He said, "Can I get everyone's attention? I just want to thank you all for being here today and for supporting me and my ministry." But then, something kinda crazy happened. He said, "I also want to introduce to you all my girlfriend, Mary Kate Christian." (At this point, I'm thinking, "I already know a majority of these people and I'm not doing anything anymore special than what your family has done today...") and he says, "and in front of my family and our friends..." (then he pulls me forward a little bit) "...and her family" and I see my parents, my sister and brother-in-law, my precious niece, and two best friends and think, "holy cow something is about to happen." That's when this picture was taken...
So anyway, I'm getting married to the man of my dreams!! I'll let you all know as soon we we have an official date set, but it won't be until I graduate next May (2013). Thank you all for your excitement and words of support and encouragement. It's going to be an amazing and exciting journey!!
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